You weren’t making that up
From what I’ve read to what you’ve said to my mixed-up memories of the whole mess, it’s all 100% fiction. What did or didn’t really happen is irrelevant; there is no “really happened,” is there? And all of it really will vanish, won’t it?
I’m all right with that if you are. We can always pretend, right?
I should’ve known as much
The sun sets, the lights leap to life, the temperature sags, the people shuffle back to their homes, the last echos dissipate, the fog descends… and YOU, my friend, become an entirely new place.
Why should this surprise me?
Don’t know, but it does. Or, perhaps more accurately, it’s how profoundly I am moved by this transformation that surprises me. Looking out at you makes me look inward at myself. Being still, is that what we’re all doing tonight? Okay, got it. Count me in.
You and I, we feel the same way tonight. We have a mood in common. Is it coincidence? Are we simply reacting to the same things in the same way? Could it be that you’re influencing me more than I thought? Or, could it be that I… no, no, of course not. But still!
We all speak so quietly now, if at all. Your silence makes it known that it doesn’t wish to be broken.
Who’s in charge around here, anyway?
Seriously though. I know what you’re going to tell me: the Muses visit when they will, and all I can hope to do is be prepared for their eventual arrival. In other words, I have no say in the matter, even if “the matter” in this case happens to be the thing I want more than… well… anything. No say at all; just gotta sit back and be patient and grateful for the opportunity to twiddle my thumbs in such illustrious company.
Nope. Nuh uh. No good.
Who the hell would be happy with that arrangement? Even the Muses themselves would have to feel a little guilty for jerking me around after the initial fun had worn thin, right? As things currently stand, I can be minding my own business, trying to make a damn sandwich or something, and the next thing I know I have to call off work the next two days because I can’t staunch the flow of new music pouring out of me. But then a short while later I can allow myself absolutely no objective in life other than to create a single tiny thing that did not already exist, and after days of holing myself up and devoting myself utterly to the task, what do I have to show for my efforts? Nothing. Nothing! Are you kidding me?
Look, I’m really not in much of a position to suggest some new way of doing things, as I clearly lack even the sketchiest understanding of how any of this works. But can we please just get together over a stiff drink and try to come up with some sort of compromise? Between the two of us (or four, or ten, or eleven of us– you know what I’m getting at), there’d have to be sufficient creativity, no? Can we at least consider that?
Attempting to bargain with inspiration personified isn’t something I do every day, so forgive my clumsiness. But I implore you, come over so we can talk through this. I’ll leave milk and cookies on the mantelpiece, place a tooth under my pillow (where’d I get the tooth? Funny story), offer a nicely charred goat, rent a DVD of the first season of whatever crappy TV show you can’t stop talking about with your coworkers… whatever it is that might entice you to stop by so we can try to hammer something out.
Thanks for listening, and I apologize if I got a little worked up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to head to the kitchen and make myself a little sandwich.
Congratulations on the purchase of your new lawn mower.
She’s a real beaut.
All right, all right, I’ll come clean:
I’m a little bit smitten. Maybe even a lot bit smitten.
I’m not sure exactly when this happened; by the time I became aware of it, there was little left to do but be honest with myself about what I already knew. As for why it happened, that’s much less of a mystery. I mean, come on.
So now what? Your being “there” and my being “here” leaves a long road between us, and it’s likely that we’re already at the end of it. But even if that weren’t the case, I think it’s safe to say that I’m alone on this one.
And that’s just fine. I have one hell of an active imagination, you know. So I think I’ll just content myself with having stumbled upon such a lovely new person/place/thing, and leave it at that.